Bye Bye Baby
by MoraDw
Summary: Takes place shortly after Deadpool 2. When Wade travels back in time to kill baby hitler, he jokingly wishes the baby away. Happy to leave the baby with the shiny glitterman in the underground, He tries to go back to his own time only to get sidetracked by Mr. smexy bighair. What is he hiding in his pants? rated M for cursing and other stuff (maybe)
1. Chapter 1

_AN: This little bunny popped up from a picture I saw on FB. Unfortunately there is no category for the Deadpool 2 movie so I had to tag it under the comics, Hope you don't mind... I don't have a Beta so any and all mistakes are my own._

_**DISCLAIMER, **I don't own Labyrinth or any of the characters therein. Nor do I own Deadpool or any of the X-men (sigh). M rating for LOTS of cursing/innuendo. * SOME SPOILERS FOR DEADPOOL 2 IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET*_

_There may be a wind advisory in affect._

**_April 20th 1889_**

_" I think we both know I don't have what it takes to do this...__So I'm just gonna change your diaper real quick and then I'm gonna come back with my friend, Cable. He loves killing kids." Wade said as he removed the swaddling from baby Hitler. _

_"Or maybe I could just swap you out with another kid, no. No that won't work." he said shaking his head as he finished wrapping the baby back in swaddling cloth and picked him up to gently rock him._

_"I can't just wish you away, nothing is that easy. Who would I even wish you to? It's not like I could ask Santa or the Easter Bunny. Are they even real? Would someone like Santa even take you?" He said as he gently booped the baby on the nose._

_"Your too much of a gremlin to be one of Santa's elves..." Wade stops his rocking movements and looks up_

_"Or a goblin." He looks back down to the baby in his arms._

_"Maybe he would take you, if he was real that is.." Shrugging his shoulders with the baby in his arms._

_"Real or not, It's worth a shot. I mean think of all the lives that would be saved..."_

_As Wade Wilson rocks the ever silent baby Adolf in his arms he paces the nursery._

_"What were the words? Ugh Where's Jennifer Connelly when you need her... Ah that's it."_

_He holds the baby up like an offering to the Gods, "You're definitely no Simba, but I think this is how it goes."_

_He clears his throat and speaks in a loud clear voice._

_"Goblin King, Goblin King. Wherever you are take this baby away from me!"_

_Baby Adolf only coos and wiggles in Wade's hands._

_"oh well." He says as he lowers the baby to cradle him in his arms once more._

_"it was worth a shot, Maybe i said it wrong. It's not like there's a book with instructions laying anywhere."_

_He walked over to the crib and gently laid the babe inside, adjusting his swaddling as the baby coos at him._

_" I mean its not like it could be anything simple, do I just say I wish the goblins would take you away right now? No it's never that simple." He said as he stood up fully only to be surprised by a voice behind him._

_"Congratulations."_

_"What in the ass?" Wade whispers in aww, Standing in the doorway of the hospital nursery was The Goblin King in all his glory. His Black armor shining under the florescent lights, his cape billowing behind him._

_"You said your right words." The Goblin King said as he smirked at Wade._

_"well that's just shitty writing." Wade says as he looks at you through the computer screen for a moment before turning his attention back to the other man in the room. " I can't believe your real." Wade says looking the other man up and down. " I mean it was just a joke I didnt know you would actually appear... What are you wearing?"_

_The Goblin King Jareth looks at the man in red with a smirk and an arched brow, " I could ask you the same..."_

_Wade is staring at Jareths bulge as the Goblin King continues to speak. "Regardless of my attire, I believe you called me here to grant you a wish...What are you staring at?" Jareth asks with a hint of irritation in his voice._

_"Did that thing just move?" Wade asks " What are you hiding in there?"_

_The flustered goblin king closes his robe concealing himself from the mans gaze. " That doesn't matter, what matters is i brought you a gift."_

_Jareth holds his hand up as an orb appears at his fingertips. "it's just a bauble nothing more. But if you turn it thi- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"_

_Surprised,__Jareth drops the orb as he pulls his now open cape from Wades hands backing towards the door behind him._

_"I heard giggling, thought it might be whatever you have hidden in there." Wade says as he turns around, the laughter is coming from behind him now._

_"What is that?" Wade says to himself as he follows the noise to baby Adolfs crib only to find the baby gone._

_He immediately turns around with guns drawn pointing directly at the goblin king. "Where's the baby?" Wade asks_

_"What's said is said. You wished him away, we took him." Jareth says as he looks at the strange thing in the man in reds hands._

_Keeping one gun pointed at Jareth, Wade backs up as he scans the room for other potential threats. "What do you mean took him?"_

_"I... I don't think i can say it more plainly..." The goblin king says. "You wished him away, he's gone."_

_Wade relaxes after a moment " OH, Okay. Good. He says as he puts one gun away._

_"Now I don't have to come back with Cable." Wade chuckles "If he knew what I've been doing..."_

_He says as he puts his other gun away. "Okay well thanks for taking care of that for me, Nice to meet you you beautiful Glittery bastard."_

_Wade says as he pats his pockets making sure he he doesn't leave anything behind while the goblin king looks at him in confusion._

_"I owe you one. Maybe we could meet up sometime for drinks, you have to tell me who does your hair. Anyway."_

_Wade starts to fiddle with the watch sized time machine strapped to his wrist to travel back to 2018._

_The goblin king looks at the man bemused as Wade says his farewell with a "don't call me, i'll call you." before hitting the button to slide through time._

_"I'm afraid that's not how this works Mr. Red." The goblin king says to Wade._

_Wade looks around to find himself on top of a hill overlooking a huge labyrinth, his shoulders slumps as he taps the malfunctioning timepiece._

_He turns around to face the goblin king who is leaning against the trunk of a long dead tree._

_"Call me Deadpool." He says as he draws one sword. "And i'll call you a kabob."_

_Let me know what you think._


	2. Chapter 2

**_DISCLAIMER: _**_I don't own Labyrinth or any characters therein. Nor do I own Deadpool or any of those characters either._

_No Beta so all mistakes are my own._

On with the show.

_"I'm afraid that's not how this works Mr. Red." The goblin king says to Wade._

_Wade looks around to find himself on top of a hill overlooking a huge labyrinth, his shoulders slumps as he taps the malfunctioning timepiece._

_He turns around to face the goblin king who is leaning against the trunk of a long dead tree._

_"Call me Deadpool." He says as he draws one sword. "And i'll call you a kabob."_

"Deadpool?" The king scoffs as he approaches and circles the armed man. "Whatever you choose to call yourself matters not, but you _will _address my by my proper title. After all it was _you _who called on me and I will be treated with respect."

Wade stood still as the Goblin king circles him,only his head turning slightly to keep him in his line of sight, sword in his left hand lowered to his side.

"I'll call you whatever you want me to if it gets me back home." Deadpool says with a quirk of his brow.

In a flash the fearsome goblin king was behind him before Wade could react ,his sword snatched from him the blade now pressed firmly against his throat. The goblin kings left hand holding Wades head still with a firm grip to his jaw. Jareth begins to hiss through gritted teeth his lips brushing against the shell of Deadpools mask covered ears "I am King of the Goblins, Master of the Labyrinth, Ruler of the Underground and Guardian of Time and the Unwanted. You _will _address me as either My lord or Master."

During his speech he didn't notice Wades left hand had slowly run up the side of the goblin kings armored hip, Jareth stiffened when he felt said hand begin to caress his leather clad backside. "Mmm Master," was Wades muffled response "I like the sound of that, I didn't think you swung that way but I'm game." Wade says as he gives the Goblin kings fanny a squeeze.

Disgusted at the mans actions the Goblin king pushes Wade away from him so swift and forcefully that he ends up sprawled out face down in the dirt.

"Did I say something wrong Master?" Deadpool mockingly responded as he slowly lifted himself from the ground shaking the dust off. "Obviously this isn't your first time, whats your safeword? Mine's pumpkin butter but if you want to use the stoplight method that works too." He finished as he got to his feet in front of the now red faced Goblin king.

"My hard limit is foot play, if you saw these talons you'd understan-" Before he could finish his sentence the goblin king send the man in red flying through the air. Slamming and pinning him magically against the outer wall of the labyrinth some fifty feet away with a loud crack at the impact, arms and legs spread and stretched so tight even a slight twitch would cause tendons and muscle to tear away from bone. "I tire of the sound of your voice and I tire of you!" The goblin king says as he casually stalks towards the pinned man. his voice raising in anger as he drew closer. "Were it up to me I would have you ejected from my Kingdom and back to your own time. But since you decided to play with things you know nothing about, you have no time to go back to! Now I am forced into giving you a chance to correct your errors and retrieve the child before the very fabric of time is ripped apart and everything you know and everyone you love ceases to exist!" The now fuming Goblin king ended his face less than an inch from the infuriating man in reds face.

"Do you even think before you act?" Jareth whispers as he reaches a hand out to grasp Wades throat in a firm grip. His rage barely held in check as he slowly starts to squeeze the mans airways closed. "Did you ever stop to think that if i had allowed you to go back to your own time, you yourself would cease to exist and the damage you caused would be irreversible!" He knashed through clenched teeth as he pulled the man in red away from the wall by his throat and flings him to the ground toward the tree again.

Deadpool was thrown so forcefully his body dragged across the ground only stopped by the large gnarled roots at the base of the tree. The dazed but still conscious man weakly struggles to turn over onto his back coughing. "How is that possible? he's just one kid do you even realize who he is?" Deadpool wheezes, coughing "Do you know how many millions of lives he is responsible for ending?" He struggles to sit up as the goblin king approaches "How can removing him from the timeline make things worse?"

"It's simple really," The goblin king says calmly now that he knows the man in red is listening. " Because of his abhorrent and monstrous actions, he kills the one individual who not only eradicates mankind, but succeeds in destroying all life on the planet known as Terra or Earth as you like to call it." Jareth said kneeling a foot away from Wade, absently picking at a dead blade of grass in front of him and twining it around his own index finger. He continues

"Leaving it a barren and dried up wasteland liken to its own moon within ninety years from the time of Adolfs birth. If that is allowed to pass it will also affect my kingdom and those who reside within. The lands surrounding the labyrinth have already begun to waste away and die, It is only by mine and that of my Queens magic that is keeping the lands inside the labyrinth alive." He says as he flicks away the blade of grass and stands, an unrecognizable emotion briefly crosses his features before turning stony eyes to the man sitting at his feet. "If you fail to win the baby back, My magic alone will not be enough to keep this world alive, you have to succeed. You have thirteen hours to traverse my labyrinth and make your way to the castle beyond the goblin city and retrieve the child you have idiotically, wrongfully wished away and we may all continue to exist. Do you understand?" Jareth finishes as he holds a hand out to help Wade stand.

Deadpool sits silent staring at the goblin king for a moment as he processes everything he's been told. If he allows the baby to stay here he would be saving millions of lives for a short time, but someone even worse will come along and destroy the entire planet?! Well he cant let that happen. His mind made up he reaches up and slowly clasps his fingers around the outreached hand and is pulled to his feet. "O.K." Wade says shrugging his shoulders their hands still clasped together he swiftly jerks the goblin king towards him and wraps his arms around the startled fae in a mock embrace. He rubs his nose across the irritated goblin kings affectionately. "Maybe after you can show me what you're hiding in your-." Thats all Wade Wilson was able to say before he was yet again magically thrown against the labyrinth wall with a resounding _CRACK _before everything went black...

**AN**

_Here's another chapter, it's a little on the serious side yes but we have to find a way to move the plot forward somehow right?_

If you feel like it go ahead and leave a review let me know what you think.


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